it’s pictures like this that make my heart go thump-a-thump for boys who like books. seriously, look at how cute these two are. i guess now wouldn’t be a bad time to give my own relationship story. so here goes…

it all started in 8th grade when i started crushing on this cute, tall boy who was already in high school. it was one of those things where i never thought he would like me in return. but much to my surprise, patience with a boy’s feelings sometimes does indeed pay off. and around freshman year of high school, i was head over heels for this kid; and he reciprocated those feelings pretty well i’d say. the thing is, i started losing myself in this boy… i put him over my friends, over my own interests, and in full control of my emotions. this continued up until the beginning of summer just following freshman year. we broke up for the summer time yet still seemed to be inseparable. we hated not talking to each other, and when we did talk to each other, we would just start falling for each other again. it was a cycle that was detrimental either way it went. so what happened? we decided to go for it again sophomore. well, looks like that went south pretty quickly. especially when i found out that he had another little girlfriend on the side. that made me feel really great about myself. so all ties we’re pretty much severed for a while. but somehow he always crept back into my life. this go around it was all secretly though. we would set up little impromptu times to be together, like going fishing or going on walks in the woods behind his house. good times, yet at the same time… not good times. because you see, all of this was done under the table and it turns out, said guy has had a girlfriend for a YEAR. well, now that i have been used for about a year and a half of my life, i’m starting to feel rather worthless. i really struggled with this worthless feeling on mistrust of guys in general for quite sometime. and it wasn’t until the summer after my junior year of high school that i actually felt liberated from this boy. i’ve yet to have a boyfriend since him. and i really do believe that that relationship still plays a role in how i view many boys when they are wanting to get into a relationship. yes, i remember the good times, but more often than not, i remember the hurt that was the outcome of each attempted try he and i had at having a relationship.

just a little disclaimer: i have absolutely no hard feelings toward this boy now. he’s a sweet guy. he’s made some mistakes, but i mean, who hasn’t. i have completely forgiven him of the ways he treated me, and we’re friends now. occasionally we text, and it’s really great!

okay, i believe that is all.

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